Here's what I think it takes to get back on track:
Going to weight watchers: check
Actually weighing in while I'm there: check
Posting new blogs: check
Reading others' blogs and commenting: half-check
Counting points: not really
Practicing self-control: not really
Exercising: no
I'm on my way. Baby-steps. I overwhelmed myself before and basically made zero progress in the last year. It's time to take charge again.
Weight change: +2.2 lbs this week
Goals for this week:
exercise at least twice (gym at least once)
count points 4 out of 7 days
post at least three new blogs
comment on a least 10 posts
weigh in next Wednesday
revisit this post in a week to check up on goals
post this list in a place where I can see it
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
What a difference a day makes!
I didn't cry at all today. What a novel idea. Thanks for your kind words about my post from yesterday. It totally made it worth it to get it off my chest.
I got to spend some much-needed down-time with Max today. He's had a rough schedule lately. As a security guard, he usually works from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Some contractors been doing an overnight job in his building for two weeks now. Max's job has been to watch them not steal things from peoples' desks and make sure they keep the building clean. What a horrible job. He's worked with no days off from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. for nearly two weeks. Hopefully, they'll finish this coming Sunday.
Thank goodness I'm on vacation. Otherwise, I'd never get to see him. He says the overtime pay is worth it. I'll be glad when it's over.
I bought a new digital camera -- the Canon PowerShot A590 IS. So far, I love it! I've only taken a couple of pictures ... Max and the cat. I'll post a few when I've got some new ones of me.
Also, some of you know that I'm a (somewhat) professional singer. For several years, I've been singing in a Jewish women's a cappella group. Talk about a niche market. However, we keep pretty busy, get paid to perform, and have a CD out. One of the girls in the group is engaged to someone who is in a blues band. He's asked three of us to be their backup singers. We had our third rehearsal tonight. AND, our first show with the rest of the group is later this month at a really cool bar. Definitely not a place the Jewish ladies usually perform. I'm so excited!
Not a lot going on otherwise. Has anyone read the new novel by Janet Evanovich? I don't know the title, but it's something with the number 14 in it. Is it worth buying, or should I just sit in the bookstore for a few hours? I'm #66 on the waiting list at the library. :(
I got to spend some much-needed down-time with Max today. He's had a rough schedule lately. As a security guard, he usually works from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Some contractors been doing an overnight job in his building for two weeks now. Max's job has been to watch them not steal things from peoples' desks and make sure they keep the building clean. What a horrible job. He's worked with no days off from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. for nearly two weeks. Hopefully, they'll finish this coming Sunday.
Thank goodness I'm on vacation. Otherwise, I'd never get to see him. He says the overtime pay is worth it. I'll be glad when it's over.
I bought a new digital camera -- the Canon PowerShot A590 IS. So far, I love it! I've only taken a couple of pictures ... Max and the cat. I'll post a few when I've got some new ones of me.
Also, some of you know that I'm a (somewhat) professional singer. For several years, I've been singing in a Jewish women's a cappella group. Talk about a niche market. However, we keep pretty busy, get paid to perform, and have a CD out. One of the girls in the group is engaged to someone who is in a blues band. He's asked three of us to be their backup singers. We had our third rehearsal tonight. AND, our first show with the rest of the group is later this month at a really cool bar. Definitely not a place the Jewish ladies usually perform. I'm so excited!
Not a lot going on otherwise. Has anyone read the new novel by Janet Evanovich? I don't know the title, but it's something with the number 14 in it. Is it worth buying, or should I just sit in the bookstore for a few hours? I'm #66 on the waiting list at the library. :(
Feeling the Pinch
I haven't talked about this with any of my friends besides Max yet, and this isn't exactly the place for it. However, I'm going to tell you about the biopsy I had today.
At my annual gyn visit a month ago, I had an abnormal pap test. I was told over the phone that I tested positive for HPV, the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus. I was also told that I needed to have additional tests done since it seemed irregular even for the HPV.
First off, the sexually transmitted part of this is a horrible thing to think about. Neither Max nor I were virgins when we met. So, somewhere along the way, one of us got this virus. The totally unfair part of this, as far as I can tell, is that symptoms don't manifest themselves in men, there is no test for a man to be able to tell if he's a carrier, and there is no treatment available for men. So basically, men can have this without knowing and continue to pass it on. For women, on the other hand, HPV can eventually lead to cervical cancer. That doesn't seem quite fair, does it? Most HPVs usually 'disintegrate' over about two years. That is the hopeful outcome here.
So, today I went in for a colposcopy ... basically a closer look at my cervix. The 'colp' part of the word comes from 'womb.' I've been doing my research. First, right there in the room, they did a test of my cells which came back as positive for some unknown something. Then, they pinched out some of my cells as a biopsy to be sent for further testing. I should know something in about 10 days.
I've spent a lot of time crying. First, this makes me feel like a dirty whore. Second, I'm worried about what I've done to my body and how things might be affected in the future (childbearing, cancer, etc.).
It's slightly comforting to know that HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease. It's also slightly comforting to know that one of us may have had this in our bodies for years and it's just manifesting itself now. It is not, as my doctor explained, a recent transgression from my boyfriend like other STDs would imply. However, the truth is that if I'd never had sex, I would not have this virus and these possibilities.
Max has been awesome. He took me to my appointment today and has promised me that we'll get through this. I'm confident that he's in this for the long haul, and that I have his total support. I have cried, huge sobbing shaking-shoulders tears, and he has been there. For weeks. The worst part has been waiting. It's been nearly a month since I made today's appointment.
I'll share this with some of my friends when I know something concrete in a couple of weeks. For now, it's just so good to get this off my chest without having to inundate Max with my tears AGAIN. He's so cute and clueless, but he's been totally amazing. I'm lucky to be with him. It's sad that he's blaming himself for women that he slept with before me. We've made the decision that since we can't tell which one of us had this in the first place, we've got to move on from blaming ourselves.
As for weight, I'm pretty afraid of Wednesday's weigh-in. I've been snacking a lot just because it keeps me from thinking about what I've got going on inside of me. That's a terrible excuse, so I'm going to make a true effort to not have those types of eating 'episodes.'
On a totally unrelated topic, can you believe it's July already? I decided to use some of the money I made from teaching summer school to buy a new digital camera. I can't wait to go pick it up tomorrow! New pix soon!
At my annual gyn visit a month ago, I had an abnormal pap test. I was told over the phone that I tested positive for HPV, the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus. I was also told that I needed to have additional tests done since it seemed irregular even for the HPV.
First off, the sexually transmitted part of this is a horrible thing to think about. Neither Max nor I were virgins when we met. So, somewhere along the way, one of us got this virus. The totally unfair part of this, as far as I can tell, is that symptoms don't manifest themselves in men, there is no test for a man to be able to tell if he's a carrier, and there is no treatment available for men. So basically, men can have this without knowing and continue to pass it on. For women, on the other hand, HPV can eventually lead to cervical cancer. That doesn't seem quite fair, does it? Most HPVs usually 'disintegrate' over about two years. That is the hopeful outcome here.
So, today I went in for a colposcopy ... basically a closer look at my cervix. The 'colp' part of the word comes from 'womb.' I've been doing my research. First, right there in the room, they did a test of my cells which came back as positive for some unknown something. Then, they pinched out some of my cells as a biopsy to be sent for further testing. I should know something in about 10 days.
I've spent a lot of time crying. First, this makes me feel like a dirty whore. Second, I'm worried about what I've done to my body and how things might be affected in the future (childbearing, cancer, etc.).
It's slightly comforting to know that HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease. It's also slightly comforting to know that one of us may have had this in our bodies for years and it's just manifesting itself now. It is not, as my doctor explained, a recent transgression from my boyfriend like other STDs would imply. However, the truth is that if I'd never had sex, I would not have this virus and these possibilities.
Max has been awesome. He took me to my appointment today and has promised me that we'll get through this. I'm confident that he's in this for the long haul, and that I have his total support. I have cried, huge sobbing shaking-shoulders tears, and he has been there. For weeks. The worst part has been waiting. It's been nearly a month since I made today's appointment.
I'll share this with some of my friends when I know something concrete in a couple of weeks. For now, it's just so good to get this off my chest without having to inundate Max with my tears AGAIN. He's so cute and clueless, but he's been totally amazing. I'm lucky to be with him. It's sad that he's blaming himself for women that he slept with before me. We've made the decision that since we can't tell which one of us had this in the first place, we've got to move on from blaming ourselves.
As for weight, I'm pretty afraid of Wednesday's weigh-in. I've been snacking a lot just because it keeps me from thinking about what I've got going on inside of me. That's a terrible excuse, so I'm going to make a true effort to not have those types of eating 'episodes.'
On a totally unrelated topic, can you believe it's July already? I decided to use some of the money I made from teaching summer school to buy a new digital camera. I can't wait to go pick it up tomorrow! New pix soon!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Back from the Lake
I have seen enough phalluses in the last 36 hours to last a LONG time. My friend, Mindy, is getting married in August.
This weekend, we had a lovely ladies' luncheon with a bunch of women and the moms, etc. This is my friend who has cooked about as much in her life as I have in the last two weeks. Her registry was the biggest thing I'd ever seen with all these kitchen gadgets I know for certain she will never use. So, since I know she's a canned goods kind of girl, I got her an electric can opener and an electric jar opener. At least I know those will get used!
After the luncheon, all the younger ladies headed up north about an hour to one of the bridesmaid's lake house. We had penis everything ... cookies, straws, etc. Then, we had a woman from Pure Romance (the people who put the 'o' in romance) come for a little party. Lots and lots of phalluses. In a lot of bright colors. Hmm.
We also had lots of snacky foods. Fortunately, the hostess is also on WW, so everything was mostly decent to start with.
Thanks so much for all the welcome back messages! I've missed you guys!
This weekend, we had a lovely ladies' luncheon with a bunch of women and the moms, etc. This is my friend who has cooked about as much in her life as I have in the last two weeks. Her registry was the biggest thing I'd ever seen with all these kitchen gadgets I know for certain she will never use. So, since I know she's a canned goods kind of girl, I got her an electric can opener and an electric jar opener. At least I know those will get used!
After the luncheon, all the younger ladies headed up north about an hour to one of the bridesmaid's lake house. We had penis everything ... cookies, straws, etc. Then, we had a woman from Pure Romance (the people who put the 'o' in romance) come for a little party. Lots and lots of phalluses. In a lot of bright colors. Hmm.
We also had lots of snacky foods. Fortunately, the hostess is also on WW, so everything was mostly decent to start with.
Thanks so much for all the welcome back messages! I've missed you guys!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Watch This!
One of the blogs that has given me a lot of inspiration is Pastaqueen's Half of Me. She has lost so much weight and has recently written a book about her experiences. It's called Half-Assed. I think that's an awesome title!
You can check everything out here. I promise you won't be disappointed!
You can check everything out here. I promise you won't be disappointed!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Square One
I am going to give this another go. I have destroyed some of the progress I made, but I still have lots of progress that I've kept. However, I kept resting on the fact that I'd lost so much weight. I made the decision a few weeks ago, on my first time at WW in months, that I would reset my weight loss to zero pounds lost. I think that will give me the kick in the pants I need to start making that loss number big again.
At my first weigh-in since zero, I had lost 1.6 pounds. That was nice. It was the first time I'd felt like I'd lost in a long time. Of course, I'm basically where I was a year ago at this time. However, I feel like it's time to get back on track.
I'm starting over with my blog, but I'm leaving everything to be seen at the bottom. Since I'm starting over though, I'll have a new list of weigh-ins, I've written a new 'about me,' etc.
Here are a few personal updates. I am still dating Max. Much to my surprise. I'm not going to go back into old stuff, but I for one never saw this coming. I found that when I concentrated on my relationship with him and not how my relationship with him was different from all the other relationships I've had in my life (the ones that ended for some reason), that I was madly in love with him. We are so lucky to have found each other at such a perfect time in our respective lives, and I anticipate that we'll spend our lives together. After spending the last 15 months living between two homes (mostly his because of his cat and his nearness to both of our jobs), we will be combining homes in July. He's moving into my condo. I cannot wait! It seems like we've been living together already. Honestly, I've only slept in my own bed alone maybe five times in 2008 so far. At this point, the only prediction I have is this: I think by this time next year, we'll either be engaged or single. I've never been one who rushed things. I was never one of those girls who dreamed about my wedding. I still say that I'd rather never marry than divorce. However, I've begun dreaming about my wedding with Max. He makes me happy, and for the first time in a relationship, I truly know what it is to feel loved. Any boyfriends I was 'in love with' in the past just don't hold a candle to this.
Besides my love life, and my weight, there hasn't been that much going on. I've been on vacation from teaching for most of June. I was supposed to be teaching summer school. Actually, I taught summer school for a week. However, it soon became evident that there were too many teachers and not enough students. I had the least seniority, so I got the summer school axe. I actually anticipated it, and I was kind of glad to get fired. I worked a week and made enough money to cover some expenses, so I'm happy.
I hope that some of you who used to read my blog all the time still have me on your RSS feeds so you know I've updated. I'd love to hear from all of you, but I know I'll have to build my relationships back up and work on being consistent. Thanks in advance for being there for me!
Kim :)
At my first weigh-in since zero, I had lost 1.6 pounds. That was nice. It was the first time I'd felt like I'd lost in a long time. Of course, I'm basically where I was a year ago at this time. However, I feel like it's time to get back on track.
I'm starting over with my blog, but I'm leaving everything to be seen at the bottom. Since I'm starting over though, I'll have a new list of weigh-ins, I've written a new 'about me,' etc.
Here are a few personal updates. I am still dating Max. Much to my surprise. I'm not going to go back into old stuff, but I for one never saw this coming. I found that when I concentrated on my relationship with him and not how my relationship with him was different from all the other relationships I've had in my life (the ones that ended for some reason), that I was madly in love with him. We are so lucky to have found each other at such a perfect time in our respective lives, and I anticipate that we'll spend our lives together. After spending the last 15 months living between two homes (mostly his because of his cat and his nearness to both of our jobs), we will be combining homes in July. He's moving into my condo. I cannot wait! It seems like we've been living together already. Honestly, I've only slept in my own bed alone maybe five times in 2008 so far. At this point, the only prediction I have is this: I think by this time next year, we'll either be engaged or single. I've never been one who rushed things. I was never one of those girls who dreamed about my wedding. I still say that I'd rather never marry than divorce. However, I've begun dreaming about my wedding with Max. He makes me happy, and for the first time in a relationship, I truly know what it is to feel loved. Any boyfriends I was 'in love with' in the past just don't hold a candle to this.
Besides my love life, and my weight, there hasn't been that much going on. I've been on vacation from teaching for most of June. I was supposed to be teaching summer school. Actually, I taught summer school for a week. However, it soon became evident that there were too many teachers and not enough students. I had the least seniority, so I got the summer school axe. I actually anticipated it, and I was kind of glad to get fired. I worked a week and made enough money to cover some expenses, so I'm happy.
I hope that some of you who used to read my blog all the time still have me on your RSS feeds so you know I've updated. I'd love to hear from all of you, but I know I'll have to build my relationships back up and work on being consistent. Thanks in advance for being there for me!
Kim :)
Friday, February 1, 2008
Late Weigh-In
I did weigh in on Wednesday. I gained .2 of a pound. I'm not bummed. I went out to lunch right beforehand (duh), and went out to dinner the night before. Things have been fine though.
I left my tennis shoes at home on Tuesday morning and then stayed the night at Max's. Max lives 4 miles from my work, and about 5 miles from my gym. I, however, live about 20 miles from both work and gym. No tennis shoes and I had a training appointment with my beautiful trainer Montez.
Montez, for the first time in 9 months called and canceled on me. Now, I had no tennis shoes and no appointment. What's a girl to do? I thought about going straight home. Instead, I decided to swim laps since I had a swimsuit in my bag. When I got there, I found out it was the time for water aerobics with a bunch of old ladies. I decided, what the hell ... and loved water aerobics with the ladies!
It was a lot of fun AND a good workout. I think I'll go back one of these days.
Have a great weekend!
I left my tennis shoes at home on Tuesday morning and then stayed the night at Max's. Max lives 4 miles from my work, and about 5 miles from my gym. I, however, live about 20 miles from both work and gym. No tennis shoes and I had a training appointment with my beautiful trainer Montez.
Montez, for the first time in 9 months called and canceled on me. Now, I had no tennis shoes and no appointment. What's a girl to do? I thought about going straight home. Instead, I decided to swim laps since I had a swimsuit in my bag. When I got there, I found out it was the time for water aerobics with a bunch of old ladies. I decided, what the hell ... and loved water aerobics with the ladies!
It was a lot of fun AND a good workout. I think I'll go back one of these days.
Have a great weekend!
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