Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It's just not fair

I cannot seem to stop crying for more than a few hours today. At least this time, I know why I'm crying. Max got a terrible phone call yesterday that his younger brother was in the hospital in southern California. Today he had some sort of surgery to try to figure out what was going on with his insides. The doctor says that he has very advanced colon cancer that has already started to spread to other parts of his body. The doctors are going to start him on chemo very soon but the outlook is really bad right now. Max thinks he's going to head out there this weekend to help him put his affairs in order. I don't think most 40 year old single people with no kids even have wills. I imagine they have a lot of work to do.

Despite the fact that this totally sucks for the brother, what's really not fair is how hard this family has been hit.

Everyone but Max's mom has had a life-long autoimmune disease. Max's brother got the bad one, Crohn's Disease, which their dad also had. Max got off fairly easy with psoriasis. It affects him daily, but it's definitely just a skin thing. Thank goodness his insides are okay.
Their mom lives outside of Phoenix, and she has been living with breast cancer for a few years now. She's usually okay, but she has been in the hospital a couple times in the last year. Max's dad died several years ago from skin cancer. What the hell did this family do to deserve all of this? Even the cat has a thyroid condition.

I feel badly that Max's family isn't close geographically. I've never met anyone in the family, but I have spoken with his mom and brother on the phone before.

Is my family the rarity in that we haven't been plagued by disease? If so, thank g-d for that. However, it's just so sad that they keep getting sick. Will Max follow suit? Will his luck pass to me? After all, I haven't heard from the doctor about the lab work from my biopsy from last week. Can you imagine if I have to pile a bad report on top of this?

It feels good to just be able to put this out there without you all trying to stop my tears. I've been a big crybaby lately, and I just feel bad that Max has gotten the brunt of it. Y'all aren't going to dance around naked trying to get me to laugh like he does. Are you?

Weigh in tomorrow. At least I don't think I've gained. We'll see about the loss. Three different scales (mine, Max's, WW) tell three different stories. I'll cross my fingers!


Chris H said...

That poor family! sometimes life does not seem fair, but I believe in fate, what will be will be and all that.... so just hang in there, be there for Max and hopefully everything will settle down soon.

jodi said...

so sorry to hear about max's brother - sometimes life can be pretty cruel and unfair... he's doing the right thing though, going out and helping... i know it's not easy to get things 'taken care of' beforehand but it really helps (i've done that w/my dad recently)...

my thoughts/prayers are with you guys... :o)

Kim said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news about Max's brother. You are in my thoughts and prayers Kim.

Fatinah said...

I am really just so sorry to hear that one family has to go through so much! My thoughts and prayers are with you both!

Kate said...

Some families just get the short end of the stick, and boy does that suck!

I'm very sorry to hear about Max and His families losses. I'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers.

Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

So sorry to hear about this. :( Have you ever read the blog Becoming Whole (becomingwhole.com)? Meg Wolff dealt with cancer that was supposed to kill her and has a lot of inspiring stories from others, too.