Friday, July 11, 2008

Nonami

I grew up near a street called Nonami. As if the city couldn't come up with just one more name for one more street. That's how I feel today. I can't come up with a title ... so Nonami it is!

Not a lot to report that I have much control over. I went to synagogue tonight to
put in a good word for Max's family. It was nice to know that I had other people pulling for them as well. Of course, I know many of you are keeping us in your thoughts as well. Thanks.

I was going to try to make this post in someway not Max-filled. However, I don't really have much else to talk about right now. And, even though this may not be the exact right forum, it definitely feels good to get it all out there.

First, Max had a terrible experience yesterday getting from Atlanta to southern California. He was supposed to fly from Atlanta to Phoenix to Burbank. His mother was flying to Burbank and was supposed to land about 20 minutes before Max. Max's connecting flight got canceled (not delayed, but canceled). Three hours later, he took a flight to Los Angeles and somehow got the airline to shuttle him the one hour to Burbank. By that time, through phone tag messages, Max learned that his mom decided to stop waiting for him and take a cab to the hospital and hotel. When Max finally got to Burbank, rented the car, and called his mother to get the names and addresses of the hospital and hotel, his mother had TURNED HER CELL PHONE OFF! He was so frustrated and had no idea where he was supposed to go. Long story short, he finally found her, but he had to work very hard to keep his temper. Yesterday was a long day for everyone.

Here's the really sucky part. Max's brother, Mike, has been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Of the stages, four is the worst. We were 'hoping' that it was going to be stage 3A, 3B, or 3C (of course, hoping that it was nothing, too). There is basically about a 5% chance that he will live for the next five years. Max says it's a very bad situation. The cancer has spread to a lot of Mike's body already. He will hopefully be starting chemo in two weeks, followed by other treatments as needed.

Mike has other issues as well ... rheumatoid arthritis, Crohns, depression, etc. I don't know if it's because he's been off of his medications, but Mike is having some serious psychotic episodes in the ICU. Honestly, I don't know if he'll make it a few weeks in order to start the chemo. He is barely cognizant of his mother and brother being there with him, and they are starting to think that he may not gain a lot of lucidity back.

Max and his mom went to Mike's house today to start 'putting his affairs in order.' Mike is only 40, and though he owns his own house and business, I don't think he has a will or any of those types of things set up. Mike's house is currently being remodeled, and Max says it's a mess.

Max's mom is doing okay physically right now, but of course, she's having a hard time mentally with the whole thing. As I wrote earlier this week, she has breast cancer. I believe it's in remission, and I think Max once told me that she had had a double mastectomy a few years ago. I'm not sure what it is that keeps her in pain, but she has basically been in constant pain for years now.

I'm praying for all of them. For Mike, who probably won't live another twelve months. For their mom, who is having to watch one of her children die a painful death. For Max, who is trying to hold it all together and be the one who is holding all of the loose strings. I'm also praying for me. It may seem self-centered to do that, but this is also difficult for me. I feel like a total outsider who is supposed to feel like an insider. I've realized that all I can do is be there for Max and listen to him. I've realized that I can't fix this, and that I can't even attempt to.

What a mess. But I am eating pretty well, so that's a good thing. I'm going to a BBQ tomorrow, so I'm going to take a few WW-friendly things. I might actually go to the gym tomorrow too. I think it will help me clear my head.

Thanks again for just listening.

Kim :)

4 comments:

Chris H said...

Poor Max and family! I hope you can be stong for him at this time, and look after yourself too mate.

Kate said...

I love the new picture you put on your blog :)

I'm very sorry to hear what a rough time Max and his family are having, it sucks when just nothing seems to go right. Make sure you look after him and yourself kiddo.

Kim said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the ordeal Max went through just getting out to be with his brother. Like he needed any more stress. :(

I will continue to keep you, as well as Max and his family in my thoughts and prayers. May things go as easy as possible for you all.

Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

Not selfish to pray for yourself---that's a good thing to recognize you need to do on top of praying for them. . . . I'm so sorry they're all going through this!